The Big Three
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
I recently finished reading God Bearing Life. Like most youth ministry books, it stoked my passion but left me wondering how important context and the individual personality of the youth pastor plays into the effectiveness.
I’ve often thought Okay, Bryan - time to stop being sarcastic. Start being more pastoral. Be one of those dudes who doesn’t feel weird wearing a Toby Mac shirt. You know, whatever. Of course, this would all run counter to who I really am (especially the whole Toby Mac thing…)
I’m always envious of the youth leaders who have the youth group full of kids that yell and cheer and seem to be filled with energy all the time. They’re excited about their Faith, they quote Bible verses and they know all the words to the worship songs we sing.
These are not the kids in my group.
My kids yell. They don’t cheer, feeling it more productive to whatever energy they have to jeer me. They quote movies and tend to re-work the lyrics of the songs we sing.
Example:
“I like to sing, I like to dance. Worshiping the Lord in very tight pants.”
A camp favorite.
So, I spend a lot of time cringing and waiting for the camp director to politely ask us to leave.
Or at least, I used to cringe.
The past week’s mission trip - combined with reading Godbearing Life- switched something inside me. The reason I don’t have that kind of group is because I’m not that kind of person. I’m passionate, but not overt. I like deep worship, not just singing songs. And I really try to understand and live the whole Message of God, not just the verses that are easy to remember (and I don’t want this to sound judgmental, but understand that much of youth ministry is about having kids ‘perform’ what they ‘know’ about God, etc.)
But, what do I want my youth ministry to accomplish? Of course, creating a new type of sarcastic disciple is not my priority. And I also don’t want kids who are cynical, raising their eyebrows every time we go on a mission trip, etc. I also do not want complacency to thrive.
If a kid comes to my youth group - as a visitor, or as a church member - I want them to ‘get’ three things.
1.) To be Loved Unconditionally. Real Love that is without condition and without expectation. Radical Love that is so counter-cultural that teenagers will seek it out in all aspects of their life.
2.) To live in Wonder. To ask questions. To see the colors of the world, of our faith. To not live in black and white. To see God as beauty. To see God as art and music and theater. To be on the lookout for God.
3.) To Hope. That the world can be better. That transformation and redemption and restoration is not only possible, but necessary in our life. That justice and Love will always burn inside us. To not fall into the trap of cynicism or rote religiosity.
Love. Wonder. Hope.
The question now becomes, how do I create a culture that stresses these things, makes them tangible and real for teenagers in a world (and sometimes in a church…) that does not want kids to Love their neighbor, to ask questions, or to live in the Hope of God.
Why I’m not Liberal.
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
For a long time, I took a sinister joy in being….wait for it…..Liberal. Of course, most of this was due to the unabashed horror that painted the faces of many family members and friends.
Kinda like this:
Then I’d bust out my ACLU card and start carrying on about Marx and/or Nietzsche…you know…;)
This past week, as I was talking to a parent of a kid in my youth group, I was sharing my excitement about moving to Oregon, starting at the new church - just basic stuff.
Then he said: “How are you going to handle all that liberal stuff out in Oregon?”
The assumption - of course - is that I would not enjoy or thrive amidst that liberal stuff in the heathen Northwest… it made me laugh and I said something like Well, I’ve gotten pretty good and hiding what I believe…
That might be the saddest thing ever spoken.
So many churches are blinded by words like ‘liberal and ‘conservative’ or even ‘fundamentalist’. Of course, the use of these words are similar to the stories I’ve heard about secretive Christians toeing a fish in the sand, expectantly waiting for another person to understand and commence with the Jesus talk. In much the same way, ‘liberal’ (or progressive) Christians - and I assume, those shaded more to the Right - use words like ‘liberal’ or ‘family values’ to immediately define where they stand and commence with the…ahem…REAL Jesus talk.
I feel more comfortable in the ‘liberal’ camp, honestly.
But I get tired of being called liberal - even referring to myself as liberal. Because the word is so devisive, so charged with meaning - so incomplete of who I really want to be.
Especially when you start talking about religion and faith.
Am I a liberal Christian?
What does that even mean?
It reminds me of something I believe Kierkegaard said….
When you label me, you negate me.
It becomes easy to pin somebody down - to believe you understand everything about them - if you can fit them into a nice, clean category.
I do this all the time.
I hate it.
I struggle daily trying to get beyond language, to get beyond categories and labels. Because if Kierkegaard was correct - our labels chain people down.
It’s so easy to dismiss somebody who will forever be chained to the same place…the same idea…the same political ideology…isn’t it?
I am pretty sure I will always be labeled as ‘liberal’. I will always err towards being open-minded. I will always strive to get beyond black and white ideas and answers. I will never stop the Search. My goal as a God-follower is to Love people in a way that goes beyond all these….words.
A friend of mine told me a story once, how another pastor came to her filled with concern.
She told me that a member of her congregation came out to her, told her she was a lesbian and that my friend was the only person who knew. As she told me the story, I watched an incredulous mask cover her face. The horror and confusion was obvious in her words. When she finished she said, “Why would she come to me? Why would she think I’m a liberal!?!” My friend said to me, “Bryan, when did compassion become a liberal trait?”
If I said things like Amen!, I’d do that here…
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
I’m on a mini vacation. If you wanted to get church-y about it, you could say I was on a bit of a sabbath. Now I’m not sitting around in a robe going all silent and meditative.
I’m just…away. Void of any sort of schedule other than our departure time early Tuesday morning.
When I was in Portland this last time, I stopped by Powell’s Books, an insane bookstore that is evident that God (or at least some sort of book god) exists. As I was convincing Nora that she didn’t need to buy one of these weird Japanese action figures, I saw this:
It’s a clock that runs backwards. So, of course, when I first saw it, I thought: “I’m totally getting that for my new office…” And yes, that’s pretty much a literal translation of my thought.
As I’ve been in North Carolina - and spending a lot of time reading - I’ve thought about this clock. One of the purposes of youth ministry, I think, is to help teenagers engage (or start to understand) Sabbath practices. Most teenagers (and adults) live a life of bondage, full of seemingly ‘good’ activities, meetings, functions, games, practices, sports, and all other sorts of doing. As a youth pastor, I’ve seen parents desperate in their attempts to make their kid well-rounded.
My role becomes to give them a couple of obtuse angles, to put some sudden kinks in a life that might be comfortable, or even normal. The biggest sin we can put in a kid’s life is the idea that living is about racing towards a goal of consumption or success.
Let me quote Eugene Peterson here:
Sabbath-keeping often feels like an interruption, an interference with our routines. It challenges assumptions we gradually build up that our daily work is indispensable in making the world go. And then we find it is not an interruption but a more spacious rhythmic measure that confirms and extends the basic beat. Every seventh day a deeper note is struck…(and) creation honored and contemplated, redemption remembered and shared.
To use a rather clunky word, it’s practicing dehabituation - breaking us out of habitual rhythms so that we can be reintroduced to God’s cadence instead. Because - if we truly believe what we say, what we affirm in all those creeds, etc - what’s more important….studying for another test, or coming together in fellowship and having some fun? The SAT/ACT prep course or going on a mission trip?
It’s not that these things aren’t important…it’s just the message we’re beating into ourselves: that rest and a connection to God can wait.
So, the clocks. I want to buy enough of these clocks to fill the youth house. Yes, it’s a bit of a gimmick…something that will make people smile and say Oh, Bryan…you’re so Crazy!!!!
But it’s also about adopting an alternative sense of time. A sabbath mentality that extends to the sacred space of that house. So when you walk in the door, you can just rest and find peace. That peace might be in video games or playing pool. It might just be sitting on a nice couch and laughing with friends.
But don’t be mistaken: it issabbath. And it isimportant.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel says:
Let (teenagers) remember that there is a meaning beyond absurdity. Let them remember that every deed counts, that every word has power, and that we all can do our share to redeem the world in spite of all absurdities and all frustrations and all disappointments.
And above all, (let them) remember…to build a life as it if were a work of art.
Just to be is a blessing.
Just to live is holy.
When’s the last time any of us considered our life a blessing, if not plain holy?
Think of it as your Spring Training for Greatness.
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
This is not about religion.
Some of you will be pleased.
Most of you know that I enjoy writing. And it’s a struggle to say I’ve enjoyed writing the past few months. It’s funny, because I get an E-mail from an editor at a major publishing house, wanting to see the book when it’s finished, and suddenly I’m stuck in the middle of a rather nasty bout of apathy.
Do Christians believe in karma?
Anyway, I’ve been forcing myself back into the relationship with The Legendary Days of My 17th Year. On my two recent trips to Oregon, I worked on what will be the final draft of the book. And I have to admit…some of it is pretty hilarious. And amazing.
/humility.
I am really close to this book. Even though I have a very intriguing idea for my next writing project (not to mention a cadre of people telling me I need to write some kind of Christian book…I tell them I don’t have the right hair, you know - big.) I can’t give up on Legendary Days. That’s a good thing, because there’s something important to me in the pages - whether it ever is published or not. Being able to say, “This is done and I like it.” is very important to me.
I’ve got 200 pages left to edit. Check in with me. Make sure I’m working. Ask me to read it.
Don’t worry about the grumbling or vile things I say about you…I’ll appreciate you later….
Here’s a paragraph for you:
From the highway, the restaurant was neon redemption - another shot at Legendary. As we circle the parking lot, it just looks dangerous. Large trucks equal large men with tattoos and axe-handles under the passenger seat, the type of people who won’t like us wandering into their version of the American Dream. This is a place for Real Americans, not us. Because dang it if I’m not wearing my Descendents shirt and Danielle’s wearing those black and white checkered Vans again. Like a freakin’ death sentence on feet. We’re the chick in the horror movie who’s all, “I’ll be right back - I just gotta run down and get something from the dark, creepy basement…”
I’ve seen enough movies to know how this is going to end.
EDIT:
So, I’ve been working and am happy to say that I am 20 pages further down the road to completion. Here’s another part of the book that cracked me up….(isn’t it nice when you can amuse yourself so easily?)
Five minutes after I’m home, Danielle’s calling - wanting to chat, to wonder, to ask questions. Just to see what’s up. It’s what she does. She is the queen of filibusters.
“Head, what are you wearing?”
“A thong.”
“Okay, gross.”
“And a belly shirt with ‘Spoiled’ written in sparkles across the chest.”
This makes me sad.
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
Who says church ain’t fun deflating?
I’m sitting here listening to general discussion of an amendment to the United Methodist Church’s constitution. One of the main issues is the inclusion of the word ‘all’ into a passage about church membership. If included, the passage would read:
Inclusiveness of the Church - The United Methodist Church is a part of the church universal, which is one Body in Christ. The United Methodist Church acknowledges that all persons are of sacred worth and that we are in ministry to all. All persons shall be eligible to attend its worship services, participate in its programs, receive the sacraments, and upon baptism be admitted as baptized members. All persons, upon taking vows declaring the Christian faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, shall be eligible to become professing members in any local church in the connection.
Before I comment more, let me just share a couple of the comments that came from the floor (mostly clergy).
…The word ‘All’ is almost too broad…
…I’m concerned about the ability of the pastor to determine if somebody is ready for church membership if this amendment is passed…
(and my personal favorite…)
…St. Andrews Presbyterian Church in Austin recently had an atheist (GASP!) join the church. He said he believed in the truth behind the creeds. Do we really want people like that worshiping with us?
*sigh*
As I told our church administrator, Delores (who has to hear lots of these blog topics before I write them out…): “Because we don’t want any of those sinners worshiping in our churches!”
What are we afraid of? Are we so scared of having our foundations shaken so much that we lose our faith? Do we believe that our church membership is a direct correlation to our spiritual worth?
I would be amazed at an atheist wanting to join my church.
I would Love her unconditionally, showing her why I follow Christ when there are many reasons not to.
As a pastor, I would Love for church membership to mean something other than an easy way to get the Fellowship Hall or Sanctuary at a cut rate.
And finally…
Are we willing to stand before God and really explain how ‘ALL’ is too broad a word for us.
Give. Me. A. Break.
Well, luckily there’s nothing in our faith tradition about the church being a place for the sick, right?
Sometimes this whole denomination/church thing makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spoon. But I have to have hope - in reconciliation, justice, unconditional love, intelligence.
So many of my friends use things like this to jump out of the boat, to say how Christians are hypocrites and the church is missing the point, etc. And I get that. But maybe the reasons for staying are just -if not more - important.
Because maybe the church needs some voices coming out of the wilderness now more than ever.
This happens about once every six months…
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
The skies open up and that divine light shines down on me and I hear a kind of booming voice - all James Earl Jones - say something like, “This is why you are called…”
Or whatever, I’m having trouble speaking for God right at this moment.
Seriously, a girl in my youth group just addressed the Annual Conference (a kind of yearly get together for Methodists to fight and conduct other forms of business…)
I’m here to help run the computers, which usually is a thankless job that involves getting yelled at by various members of clergy who need a message sent to the entire Conference via Power Point (instead of using their cell phones…but, whatever….)
But not this year. This year, I urged Morgan to submit a talk for the laity address - something generally reserved for ultra-boring/ultra-serious seminary students. At first, she hesitated - even though she has a great story to share.
Today she gave the address and I could barely contain my excitement for her…she got a standing ovation. And that’s when I got a shot of the good stuff: the stuff that says THIS is why you do youth ministry…
So, exciting times. Here’s an excerpt of her speech:
I went in looking for a concrete answer, but I’m not sure if I came out with anything I can quantify - I can’t say 2+2 = God. But I can say this: God works in our lives. Sometimes it takes a risk on our part, us doing the thing that is possible and letting God work what might seem like the impossible. I took something powerful away from that weekend: as followers of Christ, we sometimes go through rough times. And I think the church - young and old - should know that I, as a teenager, am on the exact same path of discipleship as somebody older than myself. And none of our walks of faith isn’t always smooth. But one solid answer I can stand here today and tell you is this: God walks with us, all the time, his unconditional love and assurance leading us down a path we might not always see.
So, what do you think? Do things happen for a reason? Did God put my adult table leader there for me? Well, ask the guy next to you - he might say, Heck no. Ask the lady next to him…she’ll say, of course!
But do we really know?
What I do know is I am stronger now than I was ten months ago. I can confidently say that my dad is in a place Jesus called paradise. But, I don’t know - does God have a plan for us? Maybe. I don’t know if he’s up there right now sitting in some huge office on a cloud, working a control board from Heaven. Or maybe he wrote a ‘Book of Life’ that’s slowly unfolding, page by page.
I don’t know. And I’m comfortable saying that now…well, kind of.
But I am comfortable saying that I know God is there - through all my experiences. He’s there when bad things happen, when we ask why? when we feel too tired to go on - and when we think to ourselves, I’ve wasted sixteen years on this…?
I hate it, but all my answers aren’t going to be black and white. Maybe your answers will be. For now, I feel comfortable now having a little bit of gray in my life. I think that’s what keeps our faith so alive - there’s just so much of it out there, so many ways to encounter God. I guess I will probably never know why bad things happen or why good people get cancer. And part of me is really bugged by that! But through all this, I did get one answer.
It seems so obvious to me now, but God was right there - waiting on me, pushing me forward, opening windows and letting the fresh air of grace blow in. And maybe I’m okay with that one answer being black and white all the time.I’d like to close with a part from Donald Miller’s book, Blue Like Jazz.
Miller writes:
“I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Baghdad Theatre one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way. I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.”
I had to accept that God doesn’t necessarily “resolve” everything for us. He doesn’t give us all the answers. So we have to decide: are we going to give up and throw it all away? Or are we going to search God out, to climb out of our valleys and cry out for Him?
I’m happy to say that I’m in it for the long run. How about you?
Faith
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
When my sister moved to San Francisco, there was a sort of explosion of insight from our community of friends and family.
Wow, you know it’s expensive to live out there right? You’ll never be able to afford that!!!
Okay, so maybe the whole !!! is my own added emphasis, but you get the point…
My brother-in-law took to saying, Yeah, all the homeless people in the bay area? Most of them are doctors and lawyers. It’s rough out there…
Michelle and I have heard similar comments in the past week, true epiphanies of insight like:
Oregon? You know it rains a lot out there, right?
I want to be all, What?!? Rain?!? They told me it was like San Diego…
Of course it rains…that was evident on our first day in the state when I played ultimate frisbee in the middle of what I would say was a rain that could only be identified as torrential.
But I still dominated, of course. It’s just how I roll.
As we’ve told more and more people about our upcoming transition (and I’ve heard more and more of these nuggets of knowledge…), I’ve come to one conclusion: most people are scared to risk a move or a transition that might end in failure. For us, this move comes with a huge up-side. It is a great move for me professionally and for us as a family. However, the negativity and fear that has come from some people is a bit astonishing.
And this has nothing to do with the rain….but, more on that in a minute.
Recently, I was talking with a friend of mine about Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jr., and other people who I would consider to be risk-takers. During the discussion I said something like:
I think faith is more than just blindly believing in doctrine…
Because to me, faith has become not about believing the ‘right’ things or just swallowing what the preacher says wholly. Faith is about being open to change. It’s about discovery and wonder and the possibility that you just might know everything about God. It’s about taking a chance, and seeing what happens. It’s about believing that failure will never be as dangerous as living our lives in what we think is safety…
I had a professor in seminary who said we could never engage in true evangelism unless we went into a discussion about God completely willing/open to having our mind changed.
That’s not safe. At some point, the Christian message has become safe and nice, this docile thing that we put on with our suits and dress shoes.
But I wonder…what if?
What if we adopted a more dangerous faith - one that really forced us to make decisions, to step outside of boundaries, to push our comfort zones to places that make our skin crawl….what if?
What would our faith, our churches - our world - look like?
So, yes - we’re moving to Oregon. And yes, people don’t understand it. And yes, it does rain a lot there.
But what if…
…we missed Something by not going?
What if….
….we spent the rest of our life in safety?
What if….
I am no longer willing to let Fear rule my life. Being a new creation in Christ, being Born Again, isn’t so much about making a faith decision as making a decision based on real, active, dangerous faith.
Peace.
I’m a baaaaaddddd man…
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
I’ve enjoyed a rather spirited conversation on a new friend’s Facebook page. He quoted Nietzsche:
I would believe in a redeemer if the Christians acted a little more redeemed.
Ka-Blam! Right to the gut, eh? It wouldn’t be so dang convicting if it wasn’t so darn true. For a long time, I’ve rolled my eyes and bit my tongue whenever somebody would bust out the whole Well, I’m just a sinner - whatcha’ gonna do? nonsense. Because everything I read in the Bible - everything that keeps me working as a youth pastor - tells me that we are unique and extraordinary creatures. And yes, perhaps we are perfect because we are connected in some mysterious way to what Paul Tillich calls The Ultimate Reality.
Does that mean we don’t make mistakes? Well, no.
Does that mean that we can walk on water? Try it if you want.
*Slight Digression*
Yesterday, I saw this bumpersticker:
It made me think of this picture:
Do you ever wonder why Jesus always has his hands like that? A kinda “What up?” or even a, “What you lookin’ at, sucka?” pose. Anyway, whatever.
So Ron’s quote and discussion got me thinking about all this…
*Digression is complete*
Has the idea of Original Sin, of our Fallen Nature - that we are broken and completely stupid and vile and nothing but a sack of puss in a dead man’s clothes….or, whatever….
Has that idea skewed our ability to really talk about Jesus/God/The Ultimate Reality in an authentic way? Because on the discussion I mentioned earlier, I see ‘Christians’ who are full of stock answers (not to mention stock objections). And I see people who might be Christian (might not, I’m not sure if they claim the title or not…), who are really trying to figure all of This out. People who are searching and asking questions - stumbling down the path of Discipleship.
Because what if we weren’t able to use our broken nature as a crutch? What if we no longer could accept apathy that leads to injustice and starvation and inequality? What if we saw the eternal and Divine worth in every person we met….
What if?
Maybe we wouldn’t be so quick to walk past that ’samaritan’ laying in the ditch…
Maybe we wouldn’t be so sure that our answers are The Answers.
Maybe we wouldn’t be able to sit back while people are struggling and say, “I can’t do anything about it…hey, has So you think you can dance? started?!?!?”
Maybe we could finally understand how Jesus could see beyond the leper’s disease and the woman’s indiscretions.
Hey - wait…that sounds like something I’ve heard before…huh….
Now, I know this isn’t mainline Christian theology.
But maybe it should be.
Peace, friends.
The Irreverent Me.
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Uncategorized
Recently, somebody said to me:
I just love that you’re irreverent.
Huh. I mean, it’s not a stretch to say that I am different or that I see things in the church from a alternative angel many times. A lot of that comes from how I grew up, how I went prodigal for a few years. Because I’m probably the only person who would really appreciate an organist breaking in to AC/DC’s Money Talks during the offering.
I would respect that.
But is that irreverence?
The definition of ‘irreverent’ is: lacking proper respect or seriousness for something normally taken seriously.
Again, huh. I don’t know. Am I irreverent? Do I not have the proper respect for God? For my faith?
Well, of course not. But let’s remember that to respect something is to have a deep feeling of admiration that is elicited by a person/thing’s abilities, qualities or achievements. Does that speak to why I call myself a Christ follower?
In some ways, sure. But I’m not sure if I would say I respect God as much as I am in awe of God.
Because respect is fine, but awe and wonder are things many of us live without. I sometimes wonder - if Heaven turns out the way we’ve conceptualized it - and I’m standing before God, will the question be: Do you feel like you respected me throughout your life? Or will it be more like, Good and faithful son, you lived your life in wonder of the amazing and subtlety of creation.
Don’t start quoting scripture or getting high-and-mighty on me, but the latter seems more appropriate. More Right and True and Good.
Because let us remember: respect is an adjective. It is a word we’ve determined and now use to give weight to things. Christian originally was a noun - not an adjective. Maybe the point isn’t to have respect for Christian things. Maybe the point is to be in awe at all the things in the world that are completely soaked by God.
Maybe I am irreverent after all. Because I don’t believe something is inherently better just because it came from a Christian bookstore. I don’t think something has worth just because the church has decided it is good (you should really check out the blog Stuff Christians Like) I would rather search for God in the mystery of the world. I’d rather find God in the woods or in an unexpected song on the radio. Above all, I don’t want to limit the way I can experience the thing that - ultimately - frames my entire view of what it means to be human.
Anything else would be irreverent.
Just Call Me LeBron. (Or M.J. - whatever.)
Posted by Bryan | Filed under Championships, Sport
I haven’t played basketball in a long time. Mainly because my knees kill me whenever I decide to take the court. And it doesn’t help that I almost exclusively play with 15 and 16 year old boys. So, tonight - after our Ultimate Frisbee game fell flat - I said, “Anybody wanna play 21?”
Now, if you don’t know what “21″ is - let me drop some knowledge for you. Multiple people can play and for all intents, it is like a multi-player 1 on 1 game. With each basket (worth 2 or 3 points), you get the opportunity to shoot 3 free throws (worth 1 point.) If you make all three free throws, you get the ball back.
The key to “21″ is making free throws. Much like a real basketball game, the person/team who takes advantage of these point attempts has a higher statistical chance of winning the game. As a teenager, I shot free throws almost obsessively - shooting multiple sets of 100, trying to get above 90%. So “21″ favors me.
But there’s more. If you shoot and miss, an opposing player can “tip” the ball into the basket, scoring 2 points and taking you down to zero. If you get tipped while having zero points….well, you get to play in the next game. You’re out.
Tonight, I won the first game pretty easily. I lost the second game after getting tipped at 19. The final game I won, only after being tipped 4 different times at 13, 12, 18, and 19 points respectively.
I ended up winning, keeping alive my streak of crushing the egos of the young.
Now I’m going to post this on Twitter and Facebook…just to get a rise out of the guys. Quote prediction: “Bliss, you suck….”
